Emmmanuel Olatunji

A Ready-Made Marriage

We now live in a fast-paced world where ready-made things are prevalent. Everyone wants quick things today. From ready-made foods to ready-made clothes and the list goes on.

All these prefabs are great, and if you have the wherewithal to possess them, fine. However, even if all things have their “ready-made” versions, there is an exemption to marriage/courtship.

I see that the spirit of “readymade” has now crept into the hearts of people, so much that it has beclouded their minds. If there were a place where people could purchase a prefabricated marriage, I am sure that would have been the most successful business in all history.

Many people think they can possess some things like happy marriage just like they possess their ready-made clothes or house. It doesn’t work that way. If it does, the rate of divorce wouldn’t be as high as it is today.

A successful romantic relationship, be it marriage or courtship, is that which both parties must work together to make it successful. You will never see a factory-made romantic relationship; you just have to make your own work.

It pains my heart today when I hear some youths speak—they speak as though a happy marriage or romantic relationship would just fall from the sky or it is the responsibility of one person. If you think this way, you probably want to have a change of mindset now.

It takes two to tango. And for anyone to have a happy romantic relationship on this planet, he or she must go into it with someone who is indeed ready to make it work. You really don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t ready to go through high and low with you.

Relationship isn’t meant for one person, and that is why it is called RELATE-TIONSHIP. In the case of romantic relationship, you must relate with a person—your partner.

As an unmarried person, it’s important you know that it’s not everyone who actually confesses love to you that is really right for you or that will be ready to walk through all the paths with you.

When I started relationship with my wife (then my fiance), she wasn’t the first lady I loved or was drawn to. But she was the one who was ready to build things with me.

This is why as an unmarried person, you don’t want to make the mistake of choosing a wrong partner.

If you are in courtship and you are the only one making that relationship to thrive, I don’t think you need a soothsayer to tell you that’s a red flag. If you proceed into marriage despite such a flag, you may regret the outcome for the rest of your life.

But the case is different when you meet someone who is truly ready to build something with you. When I decided to marry my wife, even though a lot of people (even family members) frowned at my decision to marry her as at the time, because they felt it was too early for us, I wasn’t afraid because I knew I had met someone who is ready to go through high and low with me.

If she wasn’t ready to go through all the paths with me, how would it have been possible for both of us to sleep on bare floor in the first week of our marriage, yet her love never reduced? I’m sure the answer is clear.

Now, many people may see my relationship from the outside and wish for it. Heck, countless of people have said all sort of wonderful things that I can’t begin to enumerate about my marriage. Since we married, my wife and I have hosted and still hosting several people in our home.

But what many probably don’t know is that it takes serious work: selflessness, sacrifice and many other things to get here. My wife and I had gone through some difficult times that challenged us, nevertheless, we were able to overcome because we knew there was no ready-made marriage. If we don’t make our marriage work, who will?

I’m grateful to God that we are still standing strong together and the love is getting greater everyday. And I pray God will keep helping us. Amen.

I’m actually writing this because I felt the strong need to do—so that many unmarried and married people alike will be reminded that even though we are in a fast paced world where people just want some manufactured things, marriage is not part of those things that is ready-made.

You must make your marriage work if you really want to experience a happy marriage. It’s not rocket science. It wouldn’t just fall from the sky. It takes serious hard work.

My wife is one of the greatest women I’ve ever met in the entire history of my life and I am one of the greatest men she’s ever known, yet, that hasn’t stopped us from having differences. Sometimes, she does things that make me just wonder, but amidst everything, we are always reminded that it’s our responsibility to build our relationship and consistently trust in God.

If you are unmarried, be prepared to only go into romantic relationship with someone who is really prepared to make things work with you. Don’t force it. Don’t ever force anyone to love you, I repeat. If person A isn’t ready to make it work, there will be a person B who will. This world is like that and God hasn’t made anyone stranded of good things.

If you are married and things aren’t going on well in your marriage, be ready to make things work with your partner. When two partners are having problems, there is only one person who is pleased in the world—Satan. Hence, don’t make him rejoice over your marriage.

I have many things to share, but I will just stop here. I believe a word is enough for the wise. Has this message blessed you? Feel free to share. Do you have any contribution to this? I look forward to it.

I’m Emmanuel, the exceptional being. The one and only Oko Shindara.

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